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February 13
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:iconstickfigureparadise:
Please do not send this as a rejection Valentine! This is meant to be humorous and light-hearted, not depressing and hurtful. Last year, I had a hard time finding dA cards for platonic relationships, so I thought I'd make (a slightly inappropriate) one.

I think this is one of my suckier poems, but given it's a parody of much cheesier and poorly-written sentiments, I thought it would be alright. (I also dislike the term 'V-day' because part of me keeps thinking of WW2 instead, but, whatever)


Here’s a poem composed for you
so that you know my love is true.
Let's not lock eyes, let's not trade hearts.
Let's not make-out under the stars.
Here's the truth, 'cause I'm no sap:
our kids would look like utter crap
I may want to squeeze you tight,
but I’d never spend the night
I would never feed you grapes,
poke your nose, or kiss your face
Being wed to you would suck;
I would probably beat you up.
I do care, make no mistake:
without you, my heart would break.
Happy V-day, Mon Amie
I love you platonically
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:iconsolixlan-xvii:
~Solixlan-XVII Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You, my friend, have won the internet.
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:iconstickfigureparadise:
*stickfigureparadise Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:
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:iconvexic929:
=Vexic929 Feb 13, 2013  Student General Artist
That is the best Valentine's Day card I have ever read XD
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:iconstickfigureparadise:
*stickfigureparadise Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw!
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:iconvexic929:
=Vexic929 Feb 13, 2013  Student General Artist
:D
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:iconfireballdragon:
~FireballDragon Feb 13, 2013  Student Filmographer
"I would probably beat you up" made me chuckle. Hell, this whole card made me chuckle. Platonic love needs more... Well, love. XD
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:iconstickfigureparadise:
*stickfigureparadise Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My favorite part was coming up with "our kids would look like utter crap"
It had me laughing at myself as I was doing the dishes last night (when the idea hit me).
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:iconfireballdragon:
~FireballDragon Feb 13, 2013  Student Filmographer
LQTM (Laughing Quietly To Myself. It's more honest that LOL). ...I was thinking of sending this to you, but that'd be redundant. I'll come up with one and upload it here then. Don't make a thing outta this, it's a platonic matter only. But it REALLY doesn't help that a lot of my friends here and IRL are girls. XD
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:iconstickfigureparadise:
*stickfigureparadise Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
(I might have to use that one) Ninja just sent this to me. XD
Lol, of course. I'm big on platonic relationships. You don't see enough of that in movies.
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:iconfireballdragon:
~FireballDragon Feb 13, 2013  Student Filmographer
Or in any piece of fiction, mind you.
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